Do we have to change for a relationship? I’m sure you’ve always been told that I haven’t. That the one who is destined for you will love you exactly as you are – with all the flaws, fears and hunches on his nose. And that, of course, is true, but only to a certain extent.
You’ll probably have to change yourself a little. And that’s okay – all relationships are built on compromises. Of course, if a guy gives you ultimatums or tells you you’re ugly, don’t run to a plastic surgery clinic. But in some cases you can try to change yourself – especially if it helps not only your relationship, but also you personally.
Suppose you smoke. And your boyfriend isn’t. And he doesn’t seem to tell you anything, but you know for a fact that he doesn’t approve. So why don’t you quit? It’ll do you good anyway, and the boyfriend’s gonna be there for you. It’s a hundred times easier to forget about some bad habit when there’s someone around for you. Doesn’t mean you don’t have to change for yourself, but sometimes we need some kind of incentive.
Being too late
Your boyfriend may know you’re always late, but that doesn’t make it okay. If punctuality is important to him, he sure gets upset every time you come at a bad time. Even if he doesn’t tell you about it. Set your alarms and reminders, come strongly in advance, decide what you’ll wear in the evening, – show what you care. After all, being late is not a character trait, but a banal disrespect.
People often fight over little things: he doesn’t wash mugs like that, you put your jeans in the wrong place. It’s important if you spend a lot of time at one of your houses or even live together. You have to learn to put up with these things. Especially if you prefer it when there’s no dust at home and he throws his stuff around. You both have to find the golden mean.
It’s not about scoring on your favorite show if your boyfriend doesn’t like him. But why not try something new? Yeah, maybe you’ve always hated football, but what if one day you go to a match with your boyfriend and you become a real fan? The cool thing about relationships is that you share your interests and open up something new to each other.
If you’re both used to yelling at each other and slamming doors during quarrels, it’s certainly not great, but you do you, as they say. But if you’re used to fighting loud and broken up, and your boyfriend closes himself in any confrontation, then you have to change something. Both for you and for him.