Hey, friends! I need your advice. I’m married for 8 years and have 2 lovely children. The problem is that my wife spends time on random chats for communication. It started two years ago. It seemed that it was just communication. She was on maternity leave and had to spend all her time at home at that time. Thus, it was natural that she wanted to keep in touch with the surrounding world, chat with other people, and open the horizon. Moreover, her occupation was closely related to languages. So, an additional bonus of cam chats was an opportunity to practice a foreign language and find pleasant interlocutors abroad.
I didn’t treat video chats as a threat. I was glad that my wife managed to overcome all the problems of the postpartum period and managed not to get bored at home. Online video chats helped her to come back to a normal life. It was a significant plus.
But over time, I noticed that she started to spend more and more time on such online platforms. She communicated at any time I was absent at home. I got nervous and had a talk with her. She said that she found a few intelligent and pleasant interlocutors there and made friends with them. She convinced me.
But later, I found erotic photos on her smartphone. I tried not to think about all these things, but lustful thoughts couldn’t leave my head. I decided to check the story of her correspondence on that cam chat. Its content made me mad! I saw their erotic photos and similar messages there. They shared their photos with each other and had virtual sex.
After that, we had a serious quarrel. She told me that for her, it’s just for fun. She didn’t treat it seriously. She just wanted to relax and experience new emotions. Her point of view was that a long family life inevitably leads to boredom and a lack of diversity. Thus, this communication was an attempt to add new emotions. It was just like a game. She said: “You see porn movies. You look at naked people who have sex. I do not. But for me, my communication is equal to your porn movies!”
I couldn’t believe it! I left my house and lived with my friend for several days. I needed time to rethink this situation and find the way out. She called me and told that she was sorry and she would never do it again. But I do not know what to do and what to believe in. I lost my trust for her.
Do you think that virtual caresses are cheating or does it have a place in family life? I’ll be glad to read your thoughts on this issue.